ANNOUNCER: Coming to you from downtown Possum Trot Alabama, reporting live from our studios on Goats Bluff, with the State of The Stream Report, here is your host Bubba.
Bubba: Happy Labor Day everyone. Hope ya'll are enjoying this holiday....
Nub: I ain't.
Bubba: You ain't enjoyin' Labor Day, Nub?
Nub: No. I ain't enjoyin' it atall.
Bubba: Why not?
Nub: 'Cause I'm workin'! I could be at the house, watching the TV with a cold one in my hand, layin' around in my drawers and scratchin'.
Bubba: Well, Nub, I'm workin' too.
Nub: We could a done this State of the Stream report yesterdee. But Noooooo......we have ta do it today.
Bubba: Sorry Nub. We'll hurry it up so's yew can git home to your lovely bride.
Nub: I can see it's a long time since yew been ta my house.
Bubba: I was over there jest last week. She looks fine to me.
Nub: Yeah, she looked fine then. 'Cause that was her cumpnee (company) face.
Bubba: Her cumpnee face...?
Nub: Yeah, you know, when cumpnee's comin' over, she puts on the war paint, paints her lips,rubs on the rouge, takes those blasted curlers out of her hair.
Bubba: Oh. I see. She gets made up.
Nub: Yeah. Why don't she make up fer me?
Bubba: Well, I don't know Nub.
Nub: I don't know either. I'm the one she's a livin' with. Seems like she would want to put on the cumpnee face fer me. But NO......I get the cold cream, curlers and moo-moo.
Announcer: We are on the air!
Bubba: Yes. Okay. Let's see now....where were we.....
Announcer: We haven't started yet.
Bubba: Right. Here tis. Okay folks, this is the State of The Stream Report. Hey Nub....did yew know we made Lucy's Overheard on Saturday?
Nub: I shore didn't Bubba! Did we really?
Bubba: Yes sir we did. Right there on the front page and everthang.
Nub: I want you to shut yer mouth!
Bubba: We done made the big time now Nub.
Nub:I swan.....
Bubba: This could be the start of somethin' big.
Nub: I wonder if'n we'll have groupies?
Bubba: Hard to say Nub. Possible.
Nub: I wouldn't mind havin' groupies.
Bubba: Me either.
Nub: Whut are they?
Bubba: Groupies?
Nub: Yeah. They's fish ain't they?
Bubba: No, Nub. Groupies ain't fish.
Nub; I think you're wrong Bubba. I do believe the last time I went to Naw'lans (New Orleans) I had some of them fried groupies.
Bubba: That is Grouper Nub. Not groupies.
Nub: Yeah, that what I had. Jest 1 is a grouper. More than 1 are groupies.
Bubba: No, no, no, Nub, you got it all wrong. A groupies is a woman that follows famous men around and wants to make nice with 'em.
Nub: No!
Bubba: Yes.
Nub: No!
Bubba: Yes.
Nub: No!
Announcer: YES! YES! YES! Now get on with it!
Bubba: Yes.
Nub: Well, I'd much rather make nice with a woman than a fish.
Bubba: Me too Nub.
Nub: I don't even know how.....
Announcer: Live TV.....we are ROLLING!
Bubba: We'll talk 'bout the groupies later Nub. Let me finish this afore he has a fit.
Nub: Too late fer that. I think he's already busted a nut or somethin'.
Bubba: So, last Sunday, Kristen interviewed, get ready for this one Nub......Mr Happy.
Nub: You don't say!
Bubba: Yep. With pictures and all.
Nub: Land O' Goshen!
Bubba: Purtty good interview I must say.
Nub: Does your's talk Bubba?
Bubba: No. I don't believe it does Nub. But it does let me know what it wants. Especially first thang in the mornin'.
Nub: Yeah. Mine too. Ain't nothin' like a good whiz to start the day off.
Bubba: I ain't talkin' 'bout peein' Nub. You know.....wakin' up with a woody....
Nub: You wake up with Woody Woodpecker....?
Bubba: No, Nub....you know whut I'm talkin' 'bout. A Johnson........?
Nub: Which one Bob or Earl?
Bubba: Neither....
Announcer: He is talking about your penis!
Nub: He don't wake up with my penis! Far as I know it was with me all the time.
Announcer: His penis, you jack ass!
Nub: Yew jest said.....
Announcer: Can we please get on with it before I have a stroke.
Bubba: Don't yew ever wake up in the mornin' kind of.......hard...?
Nub: Yes sir I do. That ol mattress of mine has got springs bustin' loose ever where.
Bubba: (gets up, walks over to Nub. Whispers in his ear.)
Nub: Oh.....I see. Yeah. I reackon sometimes I do. But soon as I get a good look at the old lady with the cold cream and curlers it goes into hidin'.
Announcer: Oh good grief!
Bubba: Let's see.....Kristen interviews Mr Happy.......
Nub: How you suppose they found that man's pecker?
Bubba: What man's pecker?
Nub: That Bobbit feller....?
Bubba: Who.....
Nub: That Bobbit feller that his woman cut his pecker off whiles he was a sleepin'?
Bubba: Oh yeah. I remember that. I don't know Nub.
Nub: I think if someone was messin' around with mine I would wake up.
Bubba: Me too Nub. 'specially if theys had a knife and was a fixin' to cut it off.
Nub: It's a wonder a dog or something didn't run off with it.
Bubba: Lucky I guess that they found it.
Nub: Yeah. Cat' are 'specially bad about draggin' in stuff.
Bubba: Shore are.
Nub:Don't know whut I would do if'n my cat Budweiser came draggin' in some poor man's cut off tally whacker.
Bubba: I guess they got a special team of blood hounds to find it.
Nub: Wonder how you train a dog to find a cut off pecker?
Announcer: WE ARE ROLLING!
Bubba: Okay.....well, let me see here......Kristen.....Mr Happy....Squash...Oh yeah, here it is.....Squash for brains said he had done some hand to hand combat with Mr Happy.....
Nub: Who won?
Bubba: Didn't say. I suppose he did. Anyway, according to overhead, Grandma BaBa of Bud Lite Pie fame is closing down her blog tonight at midnight.
Nub: No. I hate to hear that Bubba. Ever one loves Grandma.
Bubba: Yeah Nub. Will be sad to see her go. I know the ladies will miss her.
Nub: We all will.
Bubba: Lucy's Overheard on The Stream was a success. Although, after readin' it, it should have been called the Hussy Edition.
Nub: Why yew say that Nub?
Bubba: Because, there was lot's of hussy talk, and hussies were comin' out of the woodwork.
Nub: Are we talkin' 'bout peckers again?
Bubba: No Nub. It's just an expression.
Nub: Jest wanted to make sure.
Bubba: There is a big Blogstream Anniversary bash going on tonight hosted by Puppy and Governor Ice.
Nub: She shore is a nice lady.
Bubba: Yep.
Nub: What time?
Bubba: I don't think we are invited Nub.
Nub: Why ever not?
Bubba: Well, I didn't get an invite. Did yew?
Nub: No. The nerve of 'em!
Bubba: They don't have ta invite us.
Nub: And it 'ppears they didn't. (Announcer passes Nub a note)
Bubba: Oh well. Let's see, I'm trying to hurry so yew can get home.....where was I now....
Nub: Take your time Bubba.
Bubba: I thought yews in a hurry to git home?
Nub: I was. I ain't now.
Bubba: What happened?
Nub: Jest got a phone message from the ol' ball and chain.....
Bubba: Is ever thang alright?
Nub: No Bubba. No it ain't. Her "Aunt Flo" has just arrived and she sent me word to go by the Piggly Wiggly and pick her up some "lady things".
Bubba: Oh. Sorry Nub.
Nub: Yeah. Me too.
Bubba: Is there anything I can do?
Nub: Yeah. You could take 'em to her.
Bubba: No way.
Nub: Didn't think so.
Announcer: We are running out of time. Wrap it up.
Bubba: Well that has been the State of The Stream report for this week. Tune in next week when you might hear Nub say:
Nub: Hey.....what are you doing with that knife?
Later Ya'll....^Belle^

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