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INSIDE THE FLAME


 WARNING:Put Down The Coffee and Go Pee
 

WARNING: Do not attempt to read this while drinking a beverage of any kind. Especially hot coffee. Not responsible for injuries that might occur while reading this.^Belle^

PS-Oh Yeah, go pee first!

I laughed so hard at this I made myself DIZZY!


1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
(Because they are plugged into a genius)
2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?
(They don't have enough time)
3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
(They don't stop to ask directions)
4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
(Because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock)
(You're laughing, aren't you?!?!)
5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
(So they don't hump women's legs at cocktail parties)
6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
(You need a rough draft before you make a final copy)
7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?
(Don't know......it never happened)
(C'mon guys, we laugh at your blonde jokes!)
8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
(Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)

Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face and laughter in your heart....Then you are just an old sour fart.



**I had a very sweet post about The Yankee all ready to go....Until I read this. Tune in tomorrow to see what I have to say about him.

Later Ya'll...^Belle^

Posted by ^BELLE^ at 3:10 AM - 28 Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 SONG IN MY HEAD SUNDAY
 

Each Saturday Mother would put a stack of her favorite LP's on the stereo.The music of Conway Twitty,Elvis,Jim Reeves,Pasty Cline and others could be heard throughout the house. I can see her now standing in the kitchen,a Salem cigarette in the ashtray, a cup of steaming hot coffee on the counter. This song by Brenda Lee comes on and right away she begins to dance....she dances over to me sitting at the table, I laugh as she tries to get me to dance with her. Daddy comes in from outside where he has been working in the yard. He smiles at his wife standing in the middle of the kitchen and doing the twist. She holds out her arm to him, "Come on Honey, let's show ol' stick in the mud how it's done." I sit there and watch my parents twisting in the kitchen while Little Miss Dynamite sings about Sweet Nothin's. It doesn't get much better than that.Enjoy! Later Ya'll...^Belle^
Posted by ^BELLE^ at 11:03 PM - 27 Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 FRIDAY FIVE WITH A TWIST
 

Another Friday is here and you know what that means....time for the Friday Five With a Twist. As always, answer any 5 or go moonshine drunk on a Saturday night wild and answer them all. Ready.....here we go....

1-What is "must see" TV for you?

Antiques Road Show on PBS and I can't miss Boston Legal on ABC. (The line of the night from this weeks show came from Denny Crane who said, "I have mad penis")

2-Are you registered to vote and do you?

Yes and Yes.

3-Chips or Popcorn?

Depends on what I am in the mood for. Watching movies at home always requires popcorn. On the other hand, if I am at a movie theater....nothing gets on my nerves more than 100 people munching on popcorn at the same time. It is like fingernails on a chalk board to me! (Guess you can tell I am fun to go to the movies with)

4-Last time you ate a homegrown tomato?

Last night with dinner.

5-Last sandwich you ate at home?

Roast Beef.

6- (Got the idea for this question from Sherry) How did you come up with your blog title and blog name?

My blog title "Inside The Flame" is from a poem I wrote of the same title, for and about, who else....The Yankee. My blog name "Belle" is all about the Southern Belle thing.

7-What trees (if any) are in your front yard?

Gee, let me think. I like variety so there are several different types: Cedar,Oak,Maple,Pine,Colorado Blue Spruce, nectarine tree (that I grew from a seed myself...hope it doesn't die) Carolina Crepe Myrtle, another type of Crepe Myrtle, and my favorite one....my Lilac tree (that isn't suppose to grow or thrive in Alabama) but continues to grow by leaps and bounds,plum trees. Those are just the ones in the front yard.

8- Favorite brand of Mayo?

I have always used Kraft. Each year at family gatherings there is a Mayo debate. My brother swears that Blue Plate is the only kind worth a darn. My step sister votes for Helmans.

My Daddy buys generic even though he could well afford to splurge and buy name brands. So last year for Christmas in addition to his main gift, I also gave him a years supply of French's mustard and Heinz Ketchup.

9-The last time you had a couch potato day,what did you watch?

I had a "Friends" marathon and watched Season 9. I almost have the entire series except seasons 5,6 and 10.

10-Share an often repeted phrase your parents used while you were growing up.

So many to choose from. I have quite a few:

*Can't never could-Mother
*I'm gonna tan your hide-Daddy (I never understood what that meant but determined from the tone it wasn't good and I liked my hide just the way it was thank you very much)
*I will turn this car around right now and go back home if you two don't stop it-Daddy (Yeah right. We are 10 minutes from Panama City Beach, Flordia and he is going to drive all the way back to Alabama)
*If "if's" and "buts" were candy and nuts...oh what a Christmas it would be-Mother.

ON MY MIND

Changes are on my mind right now. The changes ahead for me. A life altering change that is long overdue. For so long it feels like I have been spinning my wheels in the mud and getting no where fast. I can't look at the big picture. Not right now. I have to look at tiny bits of it at a time.

I have learned so much about myself over the 12 months here on Blogstream. Life is short. At it's longest point, it is short. I look back on the years and time I have wasted waiting on one thing after another. Well guess what....I have finally taken control of my life. I have moved to the drivers seat. I have moved from the parked position all the way to DRIVE. So, look out....HERE I COME!

Later Ya'll....^Belle^

Posted by ^BELLE^ at 1:57 AM - 27 Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 HALLOWEEN SITE SEEING
 

I haven't been around the stream much the last few days. I'll try to catch up tonight and get back into the flow of things. Below are some great sites with Halloween themes. Enjoy...!

CHECK THESE OUT:

Tour A Haunted Mansion: Once you get past the skeleton doorman you'll walk down dark hall ways to find lots of strange happenings.

HAUNTED MANSION

Take a Spooky Tour: Send the kids off to on the spooky tour. They can roam through the witches hut, the mummy tomb and much more. Click and then scroll your mouse over the page to meet the characters.

SCARY

Stop By The Haunted Castle: You will have to search for a light switch, find a secret passageway and chop down a wall with an axe. Your goal is to be rewarded with virtual treasure.

HAUNTED TREASURE

Check Into The Haunted Hotel: Click around on the furniture,books and mirrors: You'll be connected to spooky stories plus a lot more!

HAUNTED HOTEL

Free Horror Movies: See classic horror flicks such as The Cabinet of Dr Caligari free.

HORROR MOVIES

I've noticed some of you don't have a decorated pumpkin.........Here...enjoy mine....



LATER YA'LL...^BELLE^
Posted by ^BELLE^ at 12:06 PM - 9 Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 SONG IN MY HEAD SUNDAY
 

This message has been removed by the author.
Posted by ^BELLE^ at 9:13 AM - 21 Comments   Add a Comment  
 
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Author: ^BELLE^
From "SWEET HOME ALABAMA", USA
 
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