It's Friday, and you know what that means. Time for the Friday Five. This week with a SEXY TWIST. As always, answer any 5 or go nanny nanny boo boo bonkers and answer them all. Ready....Have at it...

1-Can you make yourself sneeze? How?

YES. SEVERAL WAYS....RUNNING THE TIP OF MY FINGERNAIL OVER A CERTAIN PLACE ON MY EYEBROW, OR TICKLING THE INSIDE OF MY NOSE WITH A TISSUE.

2-What color is your wallet?

BURGUNDY

3-How often do you wash your hairbrush or comb?

EVERY WEEK.

4-Who has your heart?

MY CHILDREN/GRANDCHILDREN AND THE YANKEE

5-When was your last encounter with the police?

SUNDAY AT LUNCH WITH MY SON IN LAW.(I DID SPOT TROOPER CUTIE PATOOTIE WITH HIS RADAR GUN ON THE INTERSTATE THE OTHER DAY, BLEW BY HIM AND HE JUST WAVED. OH WELL....MAYBE NEXT TIME )

6-Ever had a police encounter with your arms up?

YES...BUT NOT BECAUSE I WAS UNDER ARREST.

7-Did you sing at all today? If so what?

YES/GUNPOWDER AND LEAD

8-Last sleep over you had?

ABOUT 3 WEEKS AGO.... BUT VERY LITTLE SLEEPING WAS INVOLVED.

9-Can you handle the truth?

YES. IT'S LIES THAT I CAN'T HANDLE.

10-Has anyone ever licked your hand?

YES.

11-What did you have for dinner?

BROILED SCALLOPS WITH ANGEL HAIR PASTA,GARLIC BREAD, TOSSED SALAD AND ASPARAGUS

12-Have you had a birthday this year?

NO

13-Little House On The Prarie or The Walton's?

LITTLE HOUSE

14-Name a group or singer you have seen more than once in concert?

THE EAGLES (3 TIMES)/TRAVIS TRITT (4 TIMES)

15-Something you purchased for yourself this week?

UNDIES FROM VICTORIA'S SECRET

16-It is said that eating pomegranate will bring back thoughts of past lovers. Imagine that you had cracked open a pomegranate and you were stuffing those colorful fleshy seeds into your mouth right now. Okay... What ex came to mind first; and what sort of thought did you have of him/her?

THE ONLY LOVER I EVER THINK OF IS THE YANKEE. I COULD TELL WHAT SORT OF THOUGHTS I HAD, BUT I WANT TO MAINTAIN AT LEAST A PG RATING.

17- Considering pure sexual appeal,, who's on your Top 5 list of truly sexy famous men/ women?

1-ELVIS PRESLEY

2-BURT REYNOLDS

3-TRACE ADKINS

4-TOM SELLECK

5-SEAN CONNERY

NOTICE THE TOP 3 ARE ALL SOUTHERN.

18-Does your significant other have a preference on your sleep attire?

YES!! HE PREFERS NOTHING BETWEEN HIM AND HIS SOUTHERN BELLE,AND DOESN'T MIND SAYING SO.

19-How long is a quickie?

FOR ME AND THE YANKEE....3 HOURS.

20-What is the sexiest thing about your significant other?

IT'S ALL GOOD. PLUS...I'VE SAID IT BEFORE AND I'LL SAY IT AGAIN....HE HAS HIS VERY OWN MARINE CORPS UNIFORM AND ATTITUDE.

Later Ya'll...

REMEMBER TO PM ME WITH A QUESTION FOR, DEAR BELLE ON MONDAY. I ALREADY HAVE SOME DOOZIES!

You've heard about people who have been abducted and had their kidneys removed by black-market organ thieves.

My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. I went to sleep and woke up with someone else's thighs. It was just that quick.
The replacements had the texture of cooked oatmeal. Whose thighs were these and what happened to mine? I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs.
Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans. And then the thieves struck again.

My butt was next.
I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains to match my new rear-end to the thighs they had stuck me with earlier.
But my new butt was attached at least three inches lower than my original!
I realized I'd have to give up my jeans in favor of long skirts.

Two years ago I realized my arms had been switched.
One morning I was fixing my hair and was horrified to see the flesh of my upper arm swing to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush.
This was really getting scary - my body was being replaced one section at a time. What could they do to me next?

When my poor neck suddenly disappeared and was replaced with a turkey neck, I decided to tell my story.
Women of the world wake up and smell the coffee!
Those 'plastic' surgeons are using REAL replacement body parts stolen from you and me!
The next time someone you know has something 'lifted', look again - was it lifted from you?

THIS IS NOT A HOAX.

This is happening to women everywhere every night.

WARN YOUR FRIENDS!

P.S. Last year I thought some one had stolen my Boobs.
I was lying in bed and they were gone!
But when I jumped out of bed, I was relieved to see that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept.
Now I keep them hidden in my waistband.


Later Ya'll...^Belle^

It's Monday and time for, Dear Belle. If you have a question, from serious to silly, send it to me in a PM. Let's dive right in and get after it.

QUESTION:

Dear Belle:

Saw in your comment section something about a peach cobbler, want to share the recipe?

ANSWER:

I can't share that specific recipe, but I have another one that I have used for years that is quick,fast and easy.

Spray bottom and sides of a square baking dish with a butter flavored oil. Add 1 28 ounce can of peaches (juice too). Mix together, 1 cup of flour,1 cup of sugar, and 1 cup of milk. Pour on top of the peaches. (I sprinkle extra sugar on top and place dots of butter). Place in oven preheated to 350, bake for about 30 minutes or until top is brown. (You can also use other canned fruits)

QUESTION:

Dear Belle:

Who will you vote for, for president?

ANSWER:

I'm doing a write in for RICK AND BUBBA.

QUESTION:

Dear Belle:

I asked this question at a family reunion and the answers were very interesting.

If you had to choose 1 person from your family ( all of them..cousins, aunts,uncles...etc), to die, or you would lose your life, who would you choose?

ANSWER:

That is a choice that I COULD NOT and WOULD NOT make, so, I guess it would be lights out for me.

QUESTION:

Dear Belle:

Dale Junior finally won a race yesterday. Are you happy?

ANSWER:

I was very happy to hear that Junior won a race, though, I didn't see it. Was spending the day with my Daddy, and we used that time to talk. I don't regret missing Junior's win. I would have regreted watching the race and missing that time with Daddy.

QUESTION:

Dear Belle:

My sister is getting married next year and is looking for a special song for her wedding. I know there are many great love songs out there, and you seem to know a lot about music, how about a few suggestions for her to consider?

ANSWER:

The very first one that comes to mind is, MY ONLY LOVE by The Statler Brothers. It is a beautiful song, perfect for a wedding.

If You Ever Leave Me by Vince Gill and Barbra Streisand

Truly by Lionel Ritchie

Keeper Of The Stars by Tracy Bird

Those are just a few off the top of my head. I'm sure I'll think of many others later.

QUOTES BY ELEANOR ROOSEVELT

“Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart”

The kind of man who thinks that helping with the dishes is beneath him will also think that helping with the baby is beneath him, and then he certainly is not going to be a very successful father”

“What you don't do can be a destructive force”

“Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.”

“I once had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.”

“Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people”

“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face… do the thing you think you cannot do.”

QUOTES BY LEWIS GRIZZARD

“The game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems, block your fears, and score your points when you get the opportunity.”

It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.”

Sex hasn't been the same since women started enjoying it.”

“If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes”

“If Love Were Oil, I'd Be About a Quart Low.”

Later Ya'll...^Belle^

MY DADDY....MY HERO

When I count my blessings, the man in the photo above is at the VERY top of the list.

It isn't sperm that makes a man a FATHER, nor is it their name on a birth certificate.

Love makes a FATHER.

What Makes a Dad

God took the strength of a mountain,

The majesty of a tree,

The warmth of a summer sun,

The calm of a quiet sea,

The generous soul of nature,

The comforting arm of night,

The wisdom of the ages,

The power of the eagle's flight,

The joy of a morning in spring,

The faith of a mustard seed,

The patience of eternity,

The depth of a family need,

Then God combined these qualities,

When there was nothing more to add,

He knew His masterpiece was complete,

And so, He called it ... Dad

~~Author Unknown.~~

"To her the name of father was another name for love."

~~By Fanny Fern.~~

It is a wise father that knows his own child."

~~By William Shakespeare (1564-1616)~~

It doesn't matter who my father was;

it matters who I remember he was."

~~By Anne Sexton (1928-1974) U.S. poet.~~

"I cannot think of any need in childhood

as strong as the need for a father's protection."

~~By Sigmund Freud (1856-1939)~~

"A Man's children and his garden both reflect the

amount of weeding done during the growing season."

~~Author Unknown.~~

"The greatest gift I ever had

Came from God, and I call him Dad!"

~~Author Unknown.

ENJOY HOLLY DUNN SINGING, DADDY'S HANDS

Later Ya'll...^Belle^

Something strange happened to me Friday morning. I slipped into some kind of mental time warp and thought I was 16 years old.

I stopped going to tanning beds several years ago after seeing a woman go into the tanning room opposite me. The only way I know to describe her is,picture in your mind a woman so tanned that it looks painted on, her skin wrinkled (almost with a crunchy look to it), come to think of it, she looked like an extra crispy peice of REALLY, REALLY,fried chicken.

I didn't think about sun damage when I was a teenager. No such thing as tanning beds, although I did have a sun lamp that was a giant pain in the butt.

So, in the summertime, the prime tanning spot was in the backyard, and weekends at the lake. I would head outside about 11 am or so, with a homemade mixture of baby oil and iodine. One year, I purchased this giant silver tanning mat. By the time school started, I looked like I had spent summer vacation on the sun.

I was standing at the kitchen sink in my sleep shirt, looked down at my legs, and suddenly decided they needed some sun. I could go to the tanning bed right down the road, but, that would require getting dressed.

For some odd reason, I felt the sudden urge to be outside in the sunshine and be naked.

First you should know, that I live, way back in the woods on a dirt road. No one just happens to end up down here, you have to be looking for it.

Second, no one was home, no one was even around, and should the occasional car or truck come by, there was no way I could be seen. Plus, if someone should happen to pull in the drive, I would have ample time to dash in the back door.....PLUS....the Alabama Power meter reader was just here last week. I was good to go.

I threw on a long, button up shirt, grabbed a blanket, phone,radio, and headed outside.

I did feel a little strange at first. Jumping at every sound, ready to run inside. After a while, I calmed down some, enjoying the music coming from the radio.

About 20 minutes into my sunbath, the phone rings. It is my son in law, Super Trooper.

SP; What ya doing?

BELLE:Not much, just relaxing and catching a few rays.

SP;Okay. Can you keep the kids tonight?

BELLE: Sure. What time?

SP; Around 6?

BELLE; I'll be there.

SP: Better be careful out there in your bathing suit. Never know when your favorite trooper might come by.

BELLE: Only suit I have on, is my birthday suit.

SP; WHAT?

BELLE: You heard me.

SP; No such thing.

BELLE: If I'm lyin', I'm dyin'.

SP; (screaming into the other room) KC......HEY KC.....COME HERE, RIGHT NOW.......

PRINCESS: (in the background) I'm busy, what is it?

SP; You are not goin' to believe what yo' Mama is doin'.

PRINCESS: Oh boy....what now?

SP; Yo Mama, is at this very minute, outside, buck ass nekkid.

PRINCESS: No she isn't!

SP; That's what she just said. Do you put it past her?

PRINCESS: No. I don't put anything past her, but that is crazy, even for her! Let me have that phone.......Mama...?

BELLE: YESS......

PRINCESS: Mama what are you doin' now?

BELLE: Just getting some sun. That's all.

PRINCESS: Tell me that you aren't outside nekkid.

BELLE: So.....no one is here. Just me.

PRINCESS: You do know that you are a grandmother?

BELLE: Yes.

PRINCESS: When are you going to start acting like one?

BELLE: How do you know other grandmother's don't do this?

PRINCESS: None that I know.

BELLE: For your information, my Mother, used to put on her bathing suit, when she was working in the garden.

PRINCESS: But she wasn't nekkid.

BELLE: What difference does it make?

PRINCESS: You beat all.

BELLE: Ummmm....I have to go now.....someone just pulled in the driveway.

During my conversation, someone had slipped up on me. I could hear the dogs inside going nuts, and someone knocking on the front door. I gathered up everything, trying to get my shirt on while running for the back door....only to discover it was locked!

I stood there wrapped up in the sheet, waiting until I heard the truck pull out of the drive and into the road. I knew the front door was locked as well, but had a spare key in my car.

I get the key, heading up on the front porch, and here comes a truck down the road. Spots me standing there and pulls into the driveway. Mind you, here I am, standing outside wrapped up in a blanket.

It was a man, with a freezer on the back of his truck. Before I can get the door open, he rolls down his window and asks:

"Would you like to buy some meat?"

I shook my head no, finally getting the door unlocked and bolted inside.

The moral of this story....Some ideas should remain ideas.

Later Ya'll...^Belle^

*****Hope ya'll have a wonderful weekend. Have a practice session scheduled for later tonight, and another round of Spades (Bama...Put your game face on and be ready to play some serious cards)****WE ARE THE BONNIE AND CLYDE OF SPADES.