What was going to be a nice long and much needed visit with an old friend over pizza on Friday night, turned into a Get That Crazy Bitch Out Of Here moment.
I was an emotional basket case prior to the "incident". Too many ghosts, bad memories and demons have chased me all week long. Things from the distant and not so distant past.
Doubt and fear once again churn around inside me, with insecurities I thought had been laid to rest.
Curious about what happened? My friend and old singing partner Jack had left a voice message on Wednesday asking if I wanted to have dinner on Friday night. I didn't get the message until Friday afternoon, due to being at my daughter's house, doggie sitting my "grandpuppy" most of the week.
For some reason, we were both craving pizza and ended up at the Hut. Jack was having a brew, I was drinking water, we had just placed our order. I look up to see the man that raped me (I actually wrote the word....PROGRESS....) and 3 others come strolling in and take a booth on the other side of the room.
Right away panic set in all over me.
"We have to leave. Right NOW." I whispered to Jack.
"What...? What the hell for?"
"Jack, please", I begged, "Get me out of here now. Please...."
He knows me well enough to know without asking any further questions that we needed to leave. He caught up with our waitress and cancelled the order while slipping her a 10 dollar bill, more than enough for his beer and my water. He put out his arm for me to go ahead, instead I got close behind him and pushed him toward the door.
Sights and sounds from that night long ago came over me, bringing it into the present. I felt sick.
We got to his truck and I could see THE RAPIST, as their booth was beside the window. Why the hell was I running away? What did I do? I was outside shaking while he was inside without a care in the world. Something inside me snapped. It snapped hard and snapped fast.
"Stay here", I said to Jack as I jumped out of the truck and walked back inside, and right up to the booth where THE RAPIST sat on the outside.
I was mad as a damn hornet, shaking inside so bad that my hands were trembling.
"You are a PIG." I said to him through clenched teeth. He looked up, then back down.
"Look at me you son of a bitch" I hissed.
"Who the hell are you?" Guy number 2 asked me, then turned to THE RAPIST.
"He knows who I am. Don't you?"
THE RAPIST didn't answer and didn't look up.
"You are a coward"
"Seriously, who are you?" Said guy number 3.
"You took something from me that I will NEVER get back."
"Here comes the manager" said guy number 2.
"You are a scum sucking, low life, bottom dwelling peice of crap! I am NOT a victim ANYMORE."
"Is there a problem" The manager asked.
"Yeah, this lady is nuts." Guy number 1 finally spoke up.
"He KNOWS what he did and can't even look me in the eyes."
"I'm going to have to ask you to leave."
"Who is afraid and ashamed now?" I said, turning on my heels, with the manager following close behind me.
Jack didn't know what to make of it.
"Get out of here and don't ask me any questions."
He pulled into a Waffle House parking lot while I tried to compose myself. Once stopped he put his big ol' arms around me and just let me cry it out.
As I was winding down, his soft southern drawl filled my ears.
"Baby Sis, I've seen you do a lot of stuff over the years, but I ain't never seen anybody go off at the Pizza Hut like that. Guess we won't be going back there anytime soon."
The tears gave way to laughter. And then later on the stream while talking to Colo...to having a bonfire!
**A very special thanks to Colo/Jackie. I really was bouncing off the walls over this whole ordeal. Thanks for your wise words of wisdom.
Later Ya'll...^Belle^
