(WE INTERUPT THIS BLOG TO BRING YOU A SPECIAL REPORT ON THE BLOGSTREAM UNDERWEAR SCANDAL)
ANNOUNCER:Coming to you from Pig Snout,Alabama, broadcasting live from our studio high on Goat's Bluff. Here are Bubba and Nub with the State Of The Stream report.




Bubba:Hey ya'll. Good to see you Nub.

Nub: You see me ever day Bubba.

Bubba: Just making small talk for the folks Nub.

Nub: Oh, you can use the big words if'n yew want to Bubba. I understand some of them.

Bubba: Nub, small talk is...

Announcer: Never mind with explanations. He won't get it anyway.

Bubba: Say hello to the nice folks out there in TV land Nub.

Nub: Where...?

Bubba: (points to camera) Right there.

Nub: I don't see 'em.

Bubba: In the camera. Say hello.

Nub: I don't see nobody but Earl and I done said howdy to him a few minutes ago.

Announcer: Move on.

Nub; I can say it again I reckon. Howdy Earl.

Bubba: Did ya have a nice week Nub?

Nub: I say...... Howdy Earl!

Bubba:(Clearing throat)Did ya have a nice week?

Nub: I'm a talkin' to you Earl. Ain't nice when someone says, "howdy" not to "howdy" them right back.

Bubba:We are talkin' 'bout last week.

Nub: Yew 're talkin' 'bout last week.I'm tryin' to get Earl to say "howdy".

Announcer: For the love of Bear Bryant!!!!!!!! Say "howdy" to him Earl!!!!!!!!!

Earl: (very quickly) Howdy.

Announcer: Satisfied? He said "howdy". Now get on with it.

Bubba: How was your week Nub?

Nub: Shore wus a puny "howdy". Are yew sick Earl?

Earl:I'm fair to middlin' I guess. Got a touch of the jock itch.

Nub: I didn't know you were a jock!

Earl: I ain't.

Nub: Then how'd you get the jock itch?

Bubba: You don't have to be a jock to get the jock itch Nub.

Nub: Ya don't say.

Bubba: Yep. I reckon all men get it at one time or the other.

Nub: I ain't never had it.

Bubba: Sure you have.

Nub: Naw. Never have. My cods itch ever now and again, but to my recollection, ain't never had the jock itch.

Bubba: That is jock itch

Nub: Why in tarnation would they call itchin' in your privates the jock itch?

Bubba: Er.....Don't know. Might have sumpthin' to do with a jock strap.

Nub: Yew wear a strap on yours?

Bubba: No,what I meant was....

Nub: Dang,Bubba!

Bubba: Whut...?

Nub: Why do you have to strap it? Does it try to get away?

Announcer: Get on with it.

Nub: Jest makin conversation.

Announcer: Well, make conversation about something else.

Nub: Okay.

Bubba: State Of The Stream Report....

Nub: Earl, whad yew put on your jock for the itch?

Earl: Got some cream.

Nub: Cream..? Like sour cream?

Earl: No, not that kind of cream.

Nub: My Pappy use to put Crisco on his'un.

Bubba: What in the world for?

Nub:Keep the chiggers away.

Announcer: Get on with it!

Bubba: Yeah, Nub. He's right. We need to get on with the report. Been a while since our last report, and we have a right smart to catch up on......

(Looking over at Nub wiggling around in his seat)

Bubba: Nub...? You okay? Is there a problem?

Nub: All this talk about jocks has got me itchin' somthin' fierce.

Bubba: It ain't polite to scratch in public Nub.

Nub: Well....that's where it is a itchin'. 'sides, men ain't ashamed to do a little scratchin',squeezin' and pullin'. Even in mixed company.

Bubba:Dang it Earl! See what you started!

Earl: Me! I ain't started nuthin'. I's just standin' here mindin' my own bizness.

Nub: Yeah, Earl....see whut you gone and done?

Announcer: We are running.....OUT.....OF.....TIME.....!!!!!!

Bubba: Okay, well folks, some strange things been a goin' on 'round here.

Nub: I'll say. Earl done gave me the jock itch.

Earl: No such thing.

Nub: Well, I wasn't a itchin' before.

Bubba: As, I was sayin'.....We have a Blogstream exclusive. You know Belle has been a claimin' from day one that she is in love with that Yankee feller.

Nub:That ain't news.

Bubba: Well, come to find out, ever thang ain't always whut it seems. Few weeks back we learnt that Belle was a braggin' 'bout PolarBear leavin' her bra over to her house.

Nub: Do tell......

Bubba: Yes'ir, and whut do you think happened next?

Nub: Well, I'm a guessin', that since PolarBear's bra was over at Belle's, she didn't have anything to chase the rabbits off with.

Bubba: That is only the half of it Bubba. Few days later, Lovie finds Belle's pannies a hangin' in their tree.

Nub: No!

Bubba: Yes.

Nub: No!

Bubba: I'm a tellin' you, yes.

Nub: How in the world did they get that far?

Bubba: That is what we want to know. Seems Lovie wasn't any too pleased 'bout it neither.

Nub: I guess not. She don't seem to be the kind of lady that would hold kindly to someone messin' around with her woman.

Bubba: Whut about that Yankee feller?

Nub: Ah...you know how guys are. He probably wouldn't mind watchin'.

Bubba:If ya'll got any information please contact me here at the station. I ain't got email, so just tell
Junior down at the gas station and he will tell me.

Nub:(Scratching head) Email.....? Is that kind of like a she-male.....? Didn't know you wus a that way Bubba.

Bubba: Email comes over the computer.

Nub: Bet that is a mess...... Whut is a cumputer.....?

Bubba: Well...it's....

Announcer: You are wasting time trying to explain it to him.

Nub: (laughing) Oh......I get it now.

Bubba: What....?

Nub: Email and cumputer. It's some kind of kinky sex stuff.

Bubba: No.

Announcer: Move on.

Nub: Earl, you got a cumputer.....maybe that is why you got the jock itch.

Announcer: Not this again~!!!!!

Bubba: Okay, okay.

Nub: Reckon why Belle can't keep up with her underwear?

Bubba: Don't know Nub. And, if that isn't enough, just the other day she was a sending cyber hugs to Zappa.

Nub: Well, I'll say. She's just a pure hussy then.

Bubba: We don't know that for sure.

Nub: Well, she's a hanky pankin' with the Yankee, has PolarBear's bra, then her pannies are in PolarBear's tree, and now huggin' that Zappa guy.....and then I heared the other night that she wanted to have Biggie T's baby! Whut does that tell you?

Bubba:I don't know.

Nub: Know whut it tells me?

Bubba: Whut?

Nub: No good can come of those Yankee fellers down here messin' around with our women!

Bubba: You might have somethin' there Nub.I think all those Yankee "injections" have corrupted her.


Nub: Whut are Yankee injections?

Bubba: (leaning over....whispering in Nub's ear)

Nub: Yeah.....yeah....OH......!

Bubba: Understand....?

Nub: Boy howdy....sure do. I don't mind doin' some injectin' of my own. 'Cept....Agnes always has the headache.

Bubba: Too bad Nub.

Nub: Yeah, but like I keep a tellin' her.....heifer...it ain't your head I'm aimin' fer.

Bubba: Well, those Yankee injections will be our downfall.


Nub: We can't just sit around and let it happen.

Bubba: Ain't nuthin' we can do about it Nub.

Nub: Damn Yanks! Comin' down here and takin' our women folk. Makin' them act like brazen hussies. It ain't fittin' and it ain't proper.

Bubba: I agree. But whut can we do?

Nub: Send 'em all back up North where they come from. That's what.

Bubba: That's one idea, what about all the Yankee women a livin' down here with the Southern fellers?

Nub: Keep 'em. They know a good thing when they see it.

Announcer: We are almost out of time. Wrap it up.

Bubba: Okay, folks, if you can shed any light on the mysterious underwear exchangin', let us know.

Nub: Yeah, and if you have any idee's 'bout how to get rid of these Southern Belle corruptin' Yanks....see me after the show.

Announcer: That is all the time we have for this edition of the State Of The Stream Report. Tune in next time for more in depth coverage of the Blogstream Underwear Scandal.

Nub: Hey, Bubba.....scratch this fer me.......

Later Ya'll...^Belle^

ALMOST:

Main Entry: ALMOST

Function: adjective
: very near but not quite

LOVED:

1: to hold dear : CHERISH
2 a : to feel a lover's passion, devotion, or tenderness for b (1) : CARESS (2) : to fondle amorously (3) : to copulate with
3 : to like or desire actively : take pleasure in
4 : to thrive in
intransitive senses : to feel affection or experience desire

I have been ALMOST LOVED several times in my life. Something was always missing that prevented "almost" from becoming "completely", loved.

Like the song says, "When somebody loves you, it's no good unless they love you......ALL THE WAY.

Almost may be close, but it is a far way from being complete.

Maybe I was too this....or not enough that. Whatever the reason, it was almost, and almost was not good enough.

Maybe I had something to prove, to show that I was worthy of the love that was almost offered.

Almost is like limbo. Not quite in.....not quite out....not on....not off.....not up....not down......just.....almost...

Almost may count in Blackjack, but not where love is concerned.

Almost is like being the runner up in a contest.The runner up is just the first loser....the one who almost won.

Complete love lasts a lifetime. Each day rich and full, a storehouse of precious memories spans throughout the years.

Almost love for but a season.

So, you pack up those golden moments sprinkled here and there...
Store them in your heart and make them last a lifetime.....and then, you cry.

Don't be a runner up in your life.
Don't settle for being almost loved.

Later Ya'll...^Belle^

It's Friday and you know what that means.Time for the Friday Five. This week with a Zappa Fan Twist. As always, answer any 5 or go collard green crazy and answer them all. Ready... have at it....!!

1-Price per gallon of gas where you live?

$2.53 for regular unleaded

2-Average temperature this week where you live?

Average temp has been 100, with a heat index on Thursday of around 110. Got to love August in Alabama!

3-Highest point in the state where you live?

Mount Cheaha

4-Name of the city where you were born?

Wetumpka

5-What games, if any are on your cell phone?

Brick Attack and Race 21 were included on the phone.

6-What did you have for breakfast?

Banana Oatmeal,boiled egg,peach.(Would rather have a "Yankee" breakfast)

7-Would you rather see a play or go to a concert?

Concert.

8-Dream car?

1976 Pontiac Trans Am...just like Burt's in Smokey And The Bandit.

9-Favorite TV judge?

Judge Judy

10-Last time you wished you had a camera?

A couple of weeks ago while I watched The Yankee vacuum the floor.

11-Favorite thing to spread on toast?

Philly Cream Cheese-Chive and Onion flavor.

12-Last person to take your picture?

The Yankee.

13-(This question comes from a text message received from another blogger. 5 bonus points if you guess who).

What does a beaver call IT'S vagina?

(My response)----- A wood chucker...!!

14-Someone you haven't, but want to see in concert?

Tie between, Bon Jovi and George Strait

15-What category do you search through first on ebay?

Antique/Vintage jewelry.

16-I like Zappa because....

He seems like a really fun person. Darn cute too!

17-Zappa makes me....

Laugh!

18-Zappa has....

A really cool blog.

19-Zappa is....

An excellent blogger.

20-My personal message to Zappa is....

Keep on keeping on!

Later Ya'll...^Belle^

What did we do before cell phones? Could you survive without yours? People view their cell phones differently. To some they are as vital as air in the lungs.



SURVEY:

1-Why do you have a cell phone?

I have mine for safety. It gives me peace of mind, especially when I am traveling.

2-How much do you use your cell phone?

I don't know where mine is half the time. Mine is mainly in use when I am in the car.

3-Would you be lost without your cell phone?

No.

4-Does it stay on all the time?

No.

5-Who calls you the most on your cell phone?

The Yankee

6-Who do you call the most on your cell phone?

The Yankee

7-Do you send/receive Text Messages?

Yes/Yes

Cell phones are everywhere and a recent study showed that most of the time when you see someone with a cell phone to their ear, they aren't talking to anyone!

10 Commandments of Cell Phones By Dan Briody

1-. Thou shalt not subject defenseless others to cell phone conversations. When people cannot escape the banality of your conversation, such as on the bus, in a cab, on a grounded airplane, or at the dinner table, you should spare them. People around you should have the option of not listening. If they don't, you shouldn't be babbling.

2. Thou shalt not set thy ringer to play La Cucaracha every time thy phone rings. Or Beethoven's Fifth, or the Bee Gees, or any other annoying melody. Is it not enough that phones go off every other second? Now we have to listen to synthesized nonsense?

3. Thou shalt turn thy cell phone off during public performances. I'm not even sure this one needs to be said, but given the repeated violations of this heretofore unwritten law, I felt compelled to include it.

4. Thou shalt not wear more than two wireless devices on thy belt. This hasn't become a big problem yet. But with plenty of techno-jockeys sporting pagers and phones, Batman-esque utility belts are sure to follow. Let's nip this one in the bud.

5. Thou shalt not dial while driving. In all seriousness, this madness has to stop. There are enough people in the world who have problems mastering vehicles and phones individually. Put them together and we have a serious health hazard on our hands.

6. Thou shalt not wear thy earpiece when thou art not on thy phone. This is not unlike being on the phone and carrying on another conversation with someone who is physically in your presence. No one knows if you are here or there. Very disturbing.

7. Thou shalt not speak louder on thy cell phone than thou would on any other phone. These things have incredibly sensitive microphones, and it's gotten to the point where I can tell if someone is calling me from a cell because of the way they are talking, not how it sounds. If your signal cuts out, speaking louder won't help, unless the person is actually within earshot.

8. Thou shalt not grow too attached to thy cell phone. For obvious reasons, a dependency on constant communication is not healthy. At work, go nuts. At home, give it a rest.

9. Thou shalt not attempt to impress with thy cell phone. Not only is using a cell phone no longer impressive in any way (unless it's one of those really cool new phones with the space age design), when it is used for that reason, said user can be immediately identified as a neophyte and a poseur.

10. Thou shalt not slam thy cell phone down on a restaurant table just in case it rings. This is not the Old West, and you are not a gunslinger sitting down to a game of poker in the saloon. Could you please be a little less conspicuous? If it rings, you'll hear it just as well if it's in your coat pocket or clipped on your belt.



Can you think of anymore?

Cell phones can come in handy.This was posted by WHIT on his blog back in March of this year.

FIRST

Subject: Emergency

The Emergency Number worldwide for Mobile is 112. If you find yourself out of the coverage area of your mobile network and there is an emergency, dial 112 and the mobile will search any existing network to establish the emergency number for you, and interestingly this number 112 can be dialed even if the keypad is locked. Try it out.

SECOND

Subject: Have you locked your keys in the car?

Does your car have remote keyless entry? This may come in handy someday. Good reason to own a cell phone: If you lock your keys in the car and the spare keys are at home, call someone at home on their cell phone from your cell phone. Hold your cell phone about a foot from your car door and have the person at your home press the unlock button, holding it near the mobile phone on their end. Your car will unlock. Saves someone from having to drive your keys to you. Distance is no object. You could be hundreds of miles away, and if you can reach someone who has the other"remote" for your car, you can unlock the doors (or the trunk).

THIRD

Subject: Hidden Battery Power

Imagine your cell battery is very low. To activate, press the keys *3370# Your cell will restart with this reserve and the instrument will show a 50% increase in battery. This reserve will get charged when you charge your cell next time.

FOURTH

How to disable a STOLEN mobile phone?

To check your Mobile phone's serial number, key in the following digits on your phone: *# 0 6 #. A 15 digit code will appear on the screen. This number is unique to your handset. Write it down and keep it somewhere safe. When your phone get stolen, you can phone your service provider and give them this code. They will then be able to block your handset so even if the thief changes the SIM card, your phone will be totally useless. You probably won't get your phone back, but at least you know that whoever stole it can't use/sell it either. If everybody does this, there would be no point in people stealing
mobile phones.

And Finally....

FIFTH

Cell phone companies are charging us $1.00 to $1.75 or more for
411 information calls when they don't have to. Most of us do not carry a telephone directory in our vehicle, which makes this situation even more of a problem. When you need to use the 411 information option, simply dial: (800) FREE 411, or (800) 373-3411 without incurring any charge at all. Program this into your cell phone
now.

Cell Phone Pet Peeves:

Cell phone conversations in public. Especially when trying to enjoy a meal.

Ringing cell phones in church, during weddings or funerals! TURN THE THING OFF!

What are you pet peeves and thoughts?

Later Ya'll...^Belle^

I love, antique and vintage items. Given the choice between something shiney and brand spanking new, I'll choose something old everytime. New items just don't have the character of older items.

It's always nice when the seller can fill in the blanks about the history of a particular peice. More often than not, they can only offer the place where the piece was purchased.

For over a year, I have been searching for a special antique or vintage locket. I pass right by the new ones, and 3 times have been outbid on ones that caught my eye.

Last Friday, left alone in The Yankee's office, I did some surfing while waiting for him to finish up his work week. Naturally, I landed on ebay and decided to scan through antique and vintage lockets up for bid.

Almost right away, one caught my eye. This was the special locket I had been looking for.....gold....round....double hearts with flowers and swirls on the outside. The inside held the photo of a soldier, probably from WWII.

This locket was special to someone. The man inside was loved and cherished. How in the world do items like this end up for sale to the highest bidder?

I wonder about the former owner of the locket,and, also about the man inside. Who was he? Did he make it back home to the woman who wore his image around her neck?

I placed my bid on the item, hoping someone wouldn't zoom in at the last moment and top it as in times before. They didn't. It should arrive on Monday and I can't wait to hold it in my hands.

The other night while discussing the locket with The Yankee, I told him that I intended on keeping the unnamed WWII soldiers photo in the locket and that I also planned on putting a photo of the man I love on the other side.

He said, no. He didn't think that was a good idea, that it should be left, as is.

I personally don't think that by adding a photo I would be compromising the history of the piece, I would be adding to it.

The locket, as well as the man inside, was without question loved by the lady who wore it years and years ago.

So,since I fully intend on wearing the locket myself, my question is this: What do you think? Do you think it is proper to add a photo of the man I love or should I leave it alone?

Later Ya'll...^Belle^