First, to all of you that inquired via email and PM's, I'm okay. Despite my best attempts, I have not been kidnapped by Travis Tritt, but, that is another story.
I woke up a couple of weeks ago, and found myself at a crossroad in my life,not only of the physical kind, but emotional and mental as well. I've been spending time deep in thought and writing in my journal. Sifting through the ashes of my life.
I thought of running away, and in the past, I would have done just that very thing. But, that never accomplished anything. More and more these days, my life is NOT about running away but about confronting.
One of the things that I must confront, is TRUTH and REALITY. Sometimes things ARE what they seem and sometimes people mean just exactly what they say, and actions DO speak louder than words.
It is amazing, how 1 incident and 3 days, can put things into perspective. Suddenly, you have no other choice but to look at things, and see them as they are and not as you want them to be.
I am mentally/emotionally tired and drained and in the words of Mr Tritt:
"I'm just too tired to fight, there ain't no end in sight, just to tired to fight it anymore."
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Moving right along, my therapist brought up a good point during our last session. One that I hadn't even considered. This concerns the death of my precious little man, Bo (my Rat Terrier, to those of you that don't know). He said I needed to give myself, PERMISSION, to grieve.
I thought he was crazy at first, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that he was right. I never fully dealt with or grieved over his death.
Just this weekend, I received this via email, and it really struck a cord with me and I wanted to share it.
MESSAGE FROM HEAVEN;
To my dearest family some things I’d like to say.
But first of all, to let you know, that I arrived okay.
I’m writing this from the Bridge where I dwell with God above.
There’s no more tears of sadness, there is just eternal love.
Please don’t be unhappy just because I’m out of sight.
Remember that I’m with you every morning, noon and night.
That day I had to leave you when my life on earth was through,
God picked me up and hugged me and said, "I welcome you.
It’s good to have you back again you were missed while you were gone.
As for your dearest family, they’ll be here later on."
God gave me a list of things that he wished for me to do.
And foremost on the list was to watch and care for you.
When you lie in bed at night the day’s chores put to flight,
God and I are close to you in the middle of the night.
When think you of my life on earth and all those loving years,
Because you are just human, they’re bound to bring you tears.
But do not be afraid to cry, it does relieve the pain.
Remember there would be no flowers unless there was some rain.
I wish that I could tell you all that God has planned.
If I were to tell you, you wouldn’t understand.
But one thing is for certain though my life on earth is over.
I’m closer to you now than I ever was before.
There are rocky roads ahead of you and many hills to climb,
But together we can do it, taking one day at a time.
It was always my philosophy and I’d like it for you too,
That as you give unto the world, the world will give to you.
If you can help somebody who’s deep in sorrow and pain,
Then you can say to God at night "My day was not in vain."
And now I am content that my life was worthwhile.
Knowing as I passed along I made somebody smile.
God says, "If you meet somebody who is sad and feeling low,
Just lend a hand to pick him up as on your way you go.
When you’re walking down the street with me on your mind,
I’m walking in your footsteps only half a step behind."
"And when it’s time for you to leave, from that body to be free,
Remember this, you’re not just going, you’re coming here to me."
--Author Unknown
I love and miss you Little Man. More than you know.
Later Ya'll...^Belle^
