I arrive with my friend Cee, at the "gig", and no, I didn't look like a cowgirl. The leopard print blouse that had been hanging around in my closet with the tags still on it, was after 8 months on my person.
I loved the shirt when I saw it, though, my initial thought was it was a little out there and bold for me. But, the price and size was right, so I bought it.
Many other discussions had taken place with Jack about his attire, with him finally settling on head to toe black.
Meet the cast of characters.
Jack is the front man. He can play anything with strings.
Bad-Ain't-Is the drummer. His real name is Frank, but everyone calls him, Bad-Ain't, because he thinks he's bad, but he ain't.
Buckshot plays the bass, and is the practical joker of the group.
Trek plays piano. He is called Trek, because he is a serious Star Trek fan.
Bummy plays rhythm guitar. He is called Bummy, because he is always bumming something. "Can I bum a cigarette.", "Can I bum a ride". You get the picture. Bummy also has "wind", issues. The kind that come from your backside.
Back in the day, I played the piano, then later for 8 years played with a gospel group. I'm not used to being front and center, more comfortable hiding behind the keyboard.
The guys are doing a sound check when I get there.
BAD-AIN'T: Dang,Rocky, you look like wild kingdom.
JACK; DON'T..... get her wound up.
BELLE: Pick a finger, Bad-Ain't.
BAD-AIN'T: You bring Carl Perkins with ya?
BELLE and JACK: What...?
BAD-AIN'T: Carl Perkins......the Wild Kingdom guy....? When we were little....remember....?
JACK: You fool. Carl Perkins wasn't on Wild Kingdom.
BAD-AIN'T: Yes he was.
BELLE: No he wasn't you goober. Carl Perkins, is Blue Suede Shoes...Marlin Perkins is Wild Kingdom.
BAD-AIN'T: Whatever. Looks like you are going on safari.
JACK: I done told you, don't start with her. (To me), I think you look very nice.(Whispering) We still a 1 or 2....?
BELLE: (Looking at Bad-Ain't) For now.
BAD-AIN'T: Whut did I do?
Jack is going over the line up sheet with me.
BELLE: Uh...about Bummy?
JACK: Got it covered. Gave him some Gas-X.
BELLE: Thank goodness.
His "wind", was in high geer on the 4th. So much so, that I didn't want to open my mouth to sing, and kept moving away from him.
Trek rates his "wind", on a scale of 1-10, based on volume and smell. I know....it's gross.
He will pop them out during a song, but what you can't hear, you can certainly smell. I'll start slowly making my way over toward Jack and away from the "wind", and he gently nudges me back the other way.
If Bummy is having issues with anyone in the group, he will slide beside them and "back one out".
Jack has informed him that these are, "uppity" people we are singing for. "The kind that drink hot tea."
Buckshot, loves to pick on me. He knows that I hate....am terrified of spiders and never fails to use that to get a rise out of me. I have about reached my limit with him. On the 4th as we were standing around eating, he placed a rubber spider on my shoulder and I darn near freaked out....
Trek who has been speaking to a gentleman off stage returns in a huff.
JACK: What's wrong with you?
TREK: See that guy over there?
JACK: Yeah. Why?
TREK: He made a request and check this out, he wants us to do, Sweet Home Alabama....
JACK: We always do that.
TREK: As I was saying, he wants us to do Sweet Home Alabama, and replace, "Alabama", with, "Georgia".
JACK; HELL NO.
BELLE: No way.
JACK: What did you tell him?
TREK: That I would ask you.
JACK: I'll handle it.
He returns in a few mintues looking very pleased with himself.
TREK: Well....what'd ya tell him?
JACK: I told him the song and lyrics were written about Alabama and to substitute Georgia for Alabama, wouldn't make any sense.
BELLE: Good for you.
JACK: Yeah. So, we'll be doing, Georgia.
The first set went pretty good and we breezed through without incident. The second one was a whole other story.
For one thing, I had on a pair of black ankle boots, that I have only had on a couple of times...they have this strange thin wedge heel in the back, that makes someone unbalanced like me wobble if I don't pay attention. Plus, the heels are about 3 inches high. Now, I'm 5'9 barefoot, so that puts me up there.
Jack starts off the second set with a little Ramblin' Man. I'm standing beside him with my tambourine. Mid way through the chorus, I don't know if I turned wrong or what, but I got off balance and could feel myself going backwards. Bummy came to the rescue just in time, turning sideways and bumping me back up with his right shoulder. Never missing a beat. That got me tickled.
Anyone that knows me, will tell you, when I get tickled...that is it. The more I try to keep from laughing, the more I want to laugh. From there on, everything becomes funny.
I once had a 30 minute laughing fit in the Huddle House one night, when a friend's husband simply said: "I smell raid."
The next song in line is a duet, Who Says You Can't Go Home. Jack starts the intro. I shake my head, no. He shakes his head yes.
Jack kicks it off and out of the corner of my eye, I see Trek, giving Bummy a thumbs up, as he slides over toward Buckshot.
OH...MY STARS!
Buckshot, knows what is about to take place, and turns his bass around, aiming it at Bummy like a rifle.
Jack looks to me and now it is my turn to sing:
"Like a blind dog without a bone I was a gypsy lost in the twilight zone, I hijacked a rainbow and crashed into a pot of gold..."
Something about those last 6 words, "...crashed into a pot of gold..." Along with the antics of Bummy and Buckshot....I lost it. I just plain ol' lost it and was laughing and singing at the same time.
Jack gave me one of those looks that could curdle milk and I lost it even more. He then sees the disagreeable look on Buckshot's face and knows what has happened.
"I'm sorry", I whisper, still laughing. I finally managed to pull it together.
After another 3 songs, they brought out a birthday cake, and we gather together in a group on stage and lead the crowd in Happy Birthday.
The birthday girl's boyfriend, takes her hand and goes down on one knee.
BUCKSHOT: Oh brother....... Look at this.
TREK: I can't. It's too painful.
BUCKSHOT: Don't do it man....don't do it.
JACK: Ya'll hush.
The birthday girl is now being proposed to.
BAD-AIN'T: It's like watching sumbody get a rope for their own hangin'.
JACK: Ya'll shut up. I think it's sweet.
BUMMY: Yeah, you right. It's sweet. Say, Jack, how's the little woman?
(Jack went through a horrible divorce several years ago)
BOYFRIEND: Honey, I love you more than anything in this world. You are my life.
BUCKSHOT: Hummm....Life. That's a prison sentence.
JACK: (TO ME) Umm...I think we need to change the next song in the line up.
BELLE: Why?
JACK: Because, (looking down at the list) it's, He Stopped Loving Her Today.
TREK: Yeah, that won't happen until AFTER the marriage. Once reality starts to set in, the sex stops and nagging starts.
JACK: Guys...any suggestions?
BAD-AIN'T: Yeah, how about, Thank God And Grayhound You're Gone.
BUCKSHOT: (TO BUMMY) DUDE!For crying out loud. Hey ya'll, where's that gas stuff?
BELLE: I've got it!
JACK: What?
BELLE: Annie's Song...otherwise known as, You Fill Up My Senses...
BUCKSHOT: I hope she ain't fillin' 'em up with that!
Later Ya'll...^Belle^
----Miss....? Was he talking to me? Did I look like a Miss...? For crying out loud, I'm a Me-Ma. 
It was only about a month ago, that I almost giggled when his sister introduced me as his "girlfriend".
