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INSIDE THE FLAME


 FROM DENIAL TO REVELATION
 

Since the first day of this month, the day I set months ago as THE DAY, I have noticed a change. Not only in the way I am approaching my life, but my mindset and emotions.

I have thrown myself into living in the present, rather than looking back to the past or wishing for the future.

Someone left a most profound comment on my other blog a few days back. One that initially made me laugh, but one that rang very true, and certainly applied to me:

WHEN YOU HAVE ONE FOOT IN THE PAST AND THE OTHER IN THE FUTURE, YOU ARE PISSING ON TODAY.

I realize over the years, I have done a lot of that. Sometimes, things are exactly as they seem and the conflict comes from trying to prove to ourselves that they aren't.

Last year was a very rough one for me, mentally and emotionally. One that I do not wish to relive anytime soon. But, looking back, even though at times I felt like I was spinning my wheels, I learned something from the experience.

For so long there has been an internal conflict going on inside me. My heart verses my brain. Each with a point of view, each seeing and believing different things.

I realized on Sunday that I am at peace. At long last, with lessons learned in life and through therapy, my heart and brain are on the same page. To wake up and face the day without a never ending struggle going on within me......Do you have any idea how WONDERFUL that feels....?

Things that just a few months ago would send me into an emotional tailspin, I hardly think about now and certainly don't waste anytime crying and pacing the floors over it.

I am finding the joy in my life again. Simple things like watching the birds eat and play from the living room window, trying a new recipe and getting back to work on Mother's manuscript.

From Denial to revelation was a long,hard trip and I won't be "pissing on today" anymore.

****TROOPER UPDATE:

HE WAS RELEASED FROM UAB TUESDAY AND IS RECOVERING AT HOME.

Later Ya'll...^Belle^

Posted by ^BELLE^ at 2:57 AM - 21 Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 THE GOOD, THE BAD, THE ASSHOLES
 

Today was an interesting day and had something for everyone.

THE GOOD:

I love the cooking shows that run on PBS each Saturday. One of my favorites is America's Test Kitchen. Saturday they were cooking up a stuffed beef tenderloin. Before the finished product was revealed, I had decided that would be on the menu for dinner Monday night.

Reading the recipe and instructions online, it looked difficult, but having viewed the episode where it was prepared, I was secure in my abilities.

The tenderloin is cut, and flattened out...then filled with a buttery mixture of mushrooms, garlic and onion, with baby spinach leaves placed atop before being rolled up....YUMMMMMMMMM...Then topped right before serving with a butter/herb sauce....

My son, came wondering into the kitchen just as it came out of the oven. He stood there for a moment looking puzzled.

THE BABY: Why ya got it all tied up....it try to get away?

It smelled HEAVENLY,and looked beautiful...I almost wanted to take a picture........... almost too pretty to eat. But I forced myself . The creamy mashed potatoes,also prepared in the same episode, a perfect combo. Add a slice of Me-Ma's Boo-Boo Cream Pie...That was some good eatin'...even if I do say so myself.

THE BAD

Was just over at Bry's blog, and he shares good news about getting his roses to grow. Just today, while in Wal-Mart, I debated with myself, as I do every year, if I should give roses a second try.

Believe me, had the rose bush I had my eye on been aware of my many attempts, it would have been relieved when I walked away, leaving it there. Kind of like getting a pardon right as you are strapped into the electric chair.

In the end, I walked out of the garden center without rose bushes. I wanted to give them a chance to live, grow, bloom and make someone happy. No sense in bringing them back to my house just to watch them die. Oh, well....guess I'll just have to be content looking at the rose on my boob.

ROSE BUSH: Whew...Close call. See that lady....You know how many of us she has killed...? She drowned my cousin and starved my uncle.

THE ASSHOLES

In light of a serious accident Saturday night involving a native of this fair county and one of Alabama's finest, this was not a good day to be stuck in line behind a lady (playing fast and loose with that term) dragging our Troopers though the mud.

Seems an Alabama State Trooper was unfair to her precious baby boy and took away his "weed" and carried him off to jail.

I held my tongue as long as I could. With images of my little grandson, waving bye bye to his Daddy as he goes on duty, calling out after him, "Be careful", or a young man who was doing his job, trying to make our highways a safe place who was ran over by a drunk driver and now is in critical condition at UAB....well....I had to speak my mind!

I tapped her on the shoulder.

"Excuse me, I couldn't help but overhear your conversation. MY son in law, the father of my grandchildren, is an Alabama State Trooper."

"You think that impresses me?" She snapped.

"I'm not trying to impress you. I hope the time never comes when you might need his or another trooper's assistance. But one thing I know, even though you think they are all PIGS, and scum of the earth...despite what you think or call them, they would be there."

She didn't say anything and turned back around.

What I REALLY wanted to say was this:

"Look here, WHITE TRASH, who the hell are you gonna call when the big, bad man is holding a gun to your head, wanting to make you his bitch before taking your money, then your life.....? Chances are, you are going to call on the same ones you call pig. Tell ya, what sister....want to see a pig....GO LOOK IN THE MIRROR!

Please continue to keep the young Trooper in your thoughts and prayers.

Later Ya'll...^Belle^
Posted by ^BELLE^ at 11:12 PM - 17 Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 DRUNK DRIVER
 

The news caught my attention last night as they reported that an Alabama State Trooper had been involved in an accident the next county and rushed to the hospital.

My son in law was off duty Saturday so I knew it wasn't him, still I was concerned.

I called Princess to see if she had any info. Yes, she knew about it. The young Trooper, that I have known most of his life was checking the drivers license of someone he had pulled over, when a drunk driver, 2 times over the limit,ran into him. He has head injuries, and that was all she knew at the time.

They had to cut their evening short as Super Trooper was called in to work the accident detail.

What in the HELL are people thinking when they get behind the wheel of an automobile after drinking?!

Just 2 years ago, a class mate of my son was killed in a head on crash with a drunk driver. The same age as my son, they went to school together, he had been in my home many times and I taught him in Sunday School. On his way home after work, and in a split second, the decision to drive after drinking by another motorist, ended his life!

Please keep this young Trooper in your thoughts and prayers.

TROOPER UPDATE: He was transported to UAB suffering from internal bleeding in the brain. For those of you that don't know, UAB (University Of Alabama,Birmingham) is one of THE best places in the United States for him or anyone else to be.

Below is something neat I found at one of my favorite sites. Try it and share your painting.


Click here to create your own painting.

Later Ya'll...Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Posted by ^BELLE^ at 8:25 AM - 24 Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 RIP VAN BELLE
 

Thought I would dash off a post real quick, in between naps.

Today has been spent doing nothing more than sleeping around....the house that is.

From the bed, to sofa, recliner, back to the bed, sofa, recliner,sofa...etc.

Woke up Friday morning feeling....BLAH.....

Nothing specific I could put my finger on, just didn't have any energy or motivation. Of course, the storms yesterday kept me on my toes. Once I was alerted they were coming this way by The Yankee .

Never did get bad here. In fact the sun continued to shine until around 4:30 PM, about 15 minutes of hard rain and just enough thunder and lightening to make the Rat Pack nervous.

Fell asleep in my recliner around 8 last night,and the next thing I know it is 11 PM. That in itself is odd for me.

Today was more of the same. My son was worried and spent most of the day hovering about....which I took full advantage of....Bring me a coke......Let the dogs out.....Let the dogs in....Give the dogs a snack.....Bring me my body pillow.....bring me....bring me....LOL

It feels like the fog is starting to lift now. In the meantime, hope you all have a wonderful weekend.

Leaving you with a clip, starring Sinbad, one of my favorite comedians.

Later Ya'll...Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Posted by ^BELLE^ at 7:11 PM - 2 Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 FRIDAY FIVE WITH A RED FUR TWIST
 

It's Friday and you know what that means. Time for the Friday Five. This week, with a Red Fur Twist. As always, answer any 5 or go nanny,nanny, boo-boo bonkers and answer them all. Ready.....Have at it....

1-Your heart is racing, who are you standing next to?

THE YANKEE OF COURSE.

. 2-You delete all pictures in your gallery except one, which one?

MY PRECIOUS LITTLE MAN, BO.

3-Someone hands you $100,000 what do you do with it?

DONATE 10%,HARLEY FOR THE YANKEE, 1977 BLACK TRANS AM FOR ME, RENT A CABIN UP ON CHEAHA FOR A MONTH, SAVE/INVEST THE REST. (ANY MAYBE SOME BLING-BLING) .

4-What’s one business you’d start if you could?

CATERING BUSINESS

5-Tears are falling from your eyes, what’s the reason?

I'VE JUST BEEN PULLED OVER FOR SPEEDING AND HAVE POKED MYSELF IN THE EYE TO JUMP START THE TEARS. HEY...IT WORKS!

. 6-Last matching things you bought?

GAIN, ORIGINAL SCENT, LAUNDRY DETERGENT,FABRIC SOFTENER AND DRYER SHEETS

7-Last time you had a "hickey"?

COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO. WHAT DO YOU THINK I WAS TRYING TO HIDE FROM MY DADDY!!!!!

8-What was the best trip you’ve ever been on?

BILOXI, MISSISSIPPI IN AUGUST/SEPTEMBER OF 2001

9-Worst trip you've been on?

ROCKFORD,IL AND MADISON,WISCONSIN IN 1986

10-You have one last meal to eat before you die, what is it?

MY GRANDMOTHER, ALLIE MAE'S FRIED CHICKEN, BISCUITS, GRAVY, SWEET TEA, MAMA K'S FRIED APPLE PIES, AND MY DADDY'S HOMEMADE NANNER (BANANA) PUDDIN',AND A CREAM FILLED CANNOLI...

11-Where will you be 12 hours from now?

WATCHING DAYS OF OUR LIVES

12-Do you find members of the opposite sex confusing?.

YES. ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY ARE SCRATCHING, SQUEEZING, TUGGING, PULLING AND ADJUSTING PRIVATE THINGS IN PUBLIC.

13-Last person you had a disagreement with?

MY GRANDSON, TROOPER JUNIOR WHO WANTED ANOTHER SLICE OF, "BOO BOO CWEAM PIE" SO FUNNY TO HEAR MY SON IN LAW TALKING TO ANOTHER TROOPER ABOUT, "BOO-BOO CREAM PIE"

14-How many hours of sleep did you get last night?

NONE

15-Has anyone ever borrowed something from you and never returned it/if so, what did you do?

YES, A BOYFRIEND / LET HER KEEP HIM

16-Where did the red fur end up?

17-How did it get there?

18-How do you know this?

19-Were any muppets harmed in the process?

20-What would cause someone's pants to fall down in a Waffle House parking lot?

Later Ya'll... Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Posted by ^BELLE^ at 1:00 AM - 25 Comments   Add a Comment  
 
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Author: ^BELLE^
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